The cat is sitting on my bed. She's not touching me; that would be too much for her little kitty brain to handle. She's just sitting a safe distance away and twitching like the twitchy meeper she is. I swear, she is the weirdest cat ever, and all cats are weird.
I've started to say "meep" all the time. It's just terrible, I tell you. I go through phases of saying random words whenever I can. Meep. Squish. Sometimes I wish I could just talk like a normal person and not have to meep at people.
I was getting off the bus a few days ago, and I caught my bag between my leg and one of the seats. I made a "meep!" noise, because of course that makes sense. John (our bus driver looks remarkably like a young John McCain, so I call him John) said, "You're welcome."
John: You're welcome!
No, really. I think she said that.
Oh my gosh, that just reminded me of how while I was standing around in the snow feeling like a pimp today, this guy walked by and told his friend about how something "made him lol." I was like, "Go away, dude."
Oh, now the cat is actually sitting TOUCHING ME and PURRING. I can't believe it. I will treasure this for the rest of my life. This kind of thing happens once in a lifetime, or maybe just once a month, but not very often nonetheless. I'm so proud of her. This is like a step to becoming normal.
Do you know what song I keep listening to? Of course you don't, unless you're some kind of mind-reader. Please don't tell me you're a mind-reader. I would be seriously freaked out if someone turned out to be reading my mind. Sometimes in class I do that thing I saw on MLIA, where you think very loudly, "If you can hear me, cough," and then I feel really, really relieved when no one coughs.
It's "Paparazzi." By, you know, that Lady Gaga woman. (I wanted to say "that Lady Gaga lady," but that would be a major visit to the Department of Redundancy Department. Wow, I keep getting sidetracked today. My mind is, like, not staying focused.&)
ANYWAY. Seriously this time. You can tell I'm serious because I used CAPS LOCK.
I keep singing it in my head and stuff, except I replace the word "paparazzi" with "stalkerazzi." Seriously, if you've heard the song, it makes perfect sense. I'm your biggest fan/ I'll follow you until you love me...
Why am I listening to this? Someone hit me, or something.
Have you noticed that I keep sending you to links? It's to distract you from the way I'm too lazy to write anything of substance. Look! A turtle eating a strawberry! The cover of "Going Bovine!" Purple water!
...Yeah. I should just stop right now.
In case you haven't noticed, the ninja ampersand is hiding somewhere on this page. The exclamation point is also somewhere, but it's a little more conspicuous. Okay, a lot more conspicuous.
By the way, this was 596 words. 404 to go...and homework, of course.