10 October 2009

Irony is the new black.

I don't know; I read it in a book.

I know I said I'd be bringing you my deep insights into the community at Community (people make that pun way more than the commie pun, which is obviously a better pun), but I lied. If you haven't gotten used to my false promises and backstabbing yet, you might have a problem. I mean, seriously. I haven't even written up the rest of those books I read over the summer, and that was months ago.

I'm sure anyone reading this would love to hear about fashion trends at Commie, but sadly I can't write about fashion trends. I can write about how stupid-looking I think those tights that are made to look like you're wearing socks over leggings are, and I can write about how everyone and their mother wears skinny jeans, but that's not trendiness. That's me being rude. I have one more thing to say, though: this chick in my world history class was wearing caution tape around her neck. Yes. The yellow-and-black stuff that says CAUTION over and over. Around her neck. I know!

I really wish that I could write about a typical day at Commie. I think I did that about Slauson once upon a time. The problem is that typical and Commie are like mangoes and jellyfish: they make you scratch your head and get a confused expression when you read them in the same sentence. Commie...it's the alternative, as the rainbow zebra drawing outside the office says. It's a completely unique place. Sometimes I walk in and think, Wow, my school is so freaking unique.

No, really. Yesterday, I walked in and found a group of maybe ten people singing the theme song to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air outside the Dean's office. They were not serenading her, although that would have been about the funniest thing since sliced bread. They were just loitering in the hall before class, singing. I had a sudden realization that this is what life must be like in High School Musical.

The other reason that it's hard to write about typical things at Commie (are you scratching your head in confusion? You should be) is that I have three different schedules every week. On Mondays and Wednesdays, I have a full schedule of four classes. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have two classes, an hour and a half of slacking-off time, and forum. And on Fridays, I get to go to all of my favorite classes!

Maybe I'll just write down all of my classes and leave you guessing. Guessing about what? you ask. If she writes all of them, there will be nothing for us to guess! I'm glad you asked that, dear readers. You will have the opportunity to guess which block I have each class! What fun! You can also try to figure out whether or not I enjoy each class from the cryptic descriptions I will leave next to the class name.

Real World Civics & Economics. At Commie, we are too cool for regular classes like, say, civics or econ, so we're stuck with RWCampersandE. Cheryl teaches it. She also has a forum, is the advisor of the Mock Trial stuff, and probably does countless other things.

Foundations of Science I. Again, we're too fab for biology. We get FOS instead, which is like this funky combination of biology, chemistry, and...you know, other sciencey stuff. Courtney, who's pretty awesome, teaches it, and so does C.J., who may or may not have a real name and is sixteen going on thirty.

French II. French is French, d'accord? There's not much to say about it. On the other hand, there's a lot to say about my teacher. Kris Ann is kind of a lunatic, and I mean that in the most loving way possible. She has to wear sunglasses all the time because otherwise she gets horrible migraines that have mini-stroke-like effects on her. She also squirts her students with a squirt bottle when they're being profligate. She squirted me the other day. It was pretty amazing.

Introduction to Literature. In Intro to Lit, we only read depressing stuff. This is because the main teacher, Ken, is from the if it ain't depressing, it ain't literature! camp. Our other teacher is Ellen. She's a poet and she thinks I'm a good student. Stop looking at me like that. I'm a great student.

World History. Mother is of the opinion that this class is wasting her tax dollars. Sam is really nice. That's all the information I'm giving you. Think. Ponder! Ruminate!

My free block is amazing and sometimes I go the library and sometimes I do my homework and sometimes Liss and I toss the ol' pigskin and it teaches me nothing, which is why this is an atrocious run-on sentence!

Geometry. It's math, okay? Math. Numbers and algebraic expressions and the Fibonacci Sequence ( 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89 144...). Diane teaches it. She is also a counselor. You would think that counseling would be a full-time job, but no.

Forum. Well. They tell us that forum is a class, but I don't know if I believe them. For example, I spent all of forum on Thursday learning the Single Ladies dance for the talent show next week. It was supposed to be a secret, actually, but not anymore, ha ha ha.

Did you watch the dance? I hope you did, because it will now be much easier for you to picture me, a couple of girls, and two guys doing this dance on Tuesday.

Now that I've left you with that mental image, I bid you adieu.