It's called a dictionary.

Don't die just because I've been too lazy to post. I would hate it if that happened. Don't die from anything else, either. I'd miss you from the bottom of my heart. I would miss you from the tiniest crevices of this piece of stone I call a heart. There would be much missing involved in my being.

Today I shall type at length about one of my favorite topics: English. Yes, that language which we all speak. I assume you speak English if you can read this, anyway. I really love English, more than is probably sane and healthy. Typos tend to make me feel inadequate. I use words like inadequate. I own an Oxford English Dictionary. I made a list of my favorite words today in math class while Liss stared at me.

It is my fate to be a teacher of English in some fashion. Middle school English, high school English, college English...you name it, I might teach it. I have had many ideas of what jobs I might take in the future, but this is probably what I'll end up with. Never mind that I hate children and speaking in front of people. The country needs more people with a genuine love for our language teaching it. Say "no" to apathetic English teachers! Say "yes" to shy people who are passionate about our language and your spelling mistakes!

There is a word for situations when someone else makes an appalling mistake and you still feel the need to quote whatever it is they're saying: [sic]. That means: I notice that you have made a mistake, so I will put these three letters behind it to prove to the rest of the world that I have noticed your mistake and am therefore smarter than you. That's a lot of meaning in three letters. I might be paraphrasing there, but that's pretty much what it means. So, that's what those "Bad Grammar Makes Me [sic]" people are about. It's such a helpful little Latin-rooted word.

I have been reading blogs such as Red Pen Inc. and Apostrophe Catastrophe. I love the phrase apostrophe catastrophe. Those of you who go to school with me will have to deal with me saying, "Oh my gosh! Apostrophe catastrophe!" all the time. Also, "Don't make me get out my red pen!" I have two red pens now. One is pretty normal. The other is a sparkly red gel pen. If there's anything more awesome than a grammar freak, it's a girly grammar freak.

English: use it.

Tetchy: irritable.

Caliente: hot.

That's a terrible Spanish Word of the Day. Everyone knows what it means already.

It has come to my attention (yes, it totally has) that people who are cat owners act differently than people who are not cat owners. I even came up with a short quiz to determine if you're a cat owner or not.

Are you a cat owner?

(1. Strongly agree; 2. somewhat agree; 3. neutral; 4. somewhat disagree; 5. strongly disagree.)

__ I often feel the urge to run over and pet a cat.

__ I have used the phrase "look at her cute little kitty pawsies/nosie/face" in a sentence.

__ I own cat food.

__ There are cat toys scattered around my house.

__ I have petted a cat in the past day.

__ I have spoken to a cat in a baby voice.

__ I have spoken to a cat as if it can speak back.

__ I have spoken to a cat.

__ I own a cat.

If you answered strongly agree to the last question, congratulations! You are most likely a cat owner! I make the most helpful quizzes, don't I? Tomorrow, maybe I'll make a quiz to help you figure out what color hair you have.

I'm done now, dear readers.