And now, a cheer about e-mail!

G for glass

M for mature

A for amazing

I for immoral

L for licorice

What does that spell?

Gmail!

I just signed into this blog with my new gmail account. The only difference between my new gmail account and my old yahoo account is the username. I still have the same password, which I use for everything. If someone finds out what it is, they'll be able to get into pretty much everything that belongs to me online. I don't like my new gmail account because I don't know how gmail is supposed to be spelled. I want to say g-mail, but I'm not sure if the g is supposed to be capitalized or not.

I was going to go mope around the house, but the cousin told me to blog. It's very annoying, but I hear many authors have people who yell at them whenever they don't work and get them to finish their novels. I know this because I always read the little page of dedications at either the front or back; you know, the one that lists all these people who helped me through the tough process of writing? Does anyone else read those?

I'm really not sure what to write about today. We have a very strange and difficult new song in band. It's called Amparito Roca. Go look it up on Google or something. I have the first clarinet part, only because the teachers took pity on me for having played the second parts in our last two songs. It has a lot of sixteenth notes, which is a problem because I can't play sixteenth notes, and a lot of music in general, which is a problem because I can't play. I vowed to myself that I would learn to play this song, but that was what I did last time and it didn't work. I still say it's going to be fun. Anna, who has the second part, laughs at me every time I mention it.

My favorite element of the periodic table is Uuu, unununium. It's also number 111. See how awesome it is? I know nothing about it other than those three things, but they're awesome enough that it could be completely stupid except for that and I wouldn't care. How can an element be stupid? you ask. Well, I'm not answering you. Go think about it for yourself.

The cousin is telling me via Facebook to write about her. This is our conversation:

Libby

I don't know what to write about.

3:55pmAudrey

ME!

'cause I'm special.

Yes, that is exactly what our conversation looked like. I didn't pay her anything to say that. The cousin speaks of her own free will. My writing is all going to look messed up now because I put that little chat thing in.

The cousin's name is actually Audrey, to everyone who might not have met her. I just call her the cousin. I don't know why. I said it one day, and it stuck.

Weird Names I Call People and Who They Really Are:

• The Tyrannical Dictator: Mother
• Father: Father
• The child: Robby, my brother
• The cousin: Audrey, my cousin
• Hermano: all girls I talk to who are not Spiffy or Anna
• Hermana: Anna
• Prima: Spiffy
• Chica: Niraj, also any other guy

And there you have it! I don't know why I like calling people by Spanish words that apply to the wrong gender anyway. It amuses me. I suppose I should use French words, since I actually speak some French, but Spanish is funnier. The problem with having different names for everyone means that I can't just say, "Hola, hermanos!" like I did before Spiffy and Anna (who take Spanish) complained about being called guy names. Now I have to say, "Hola, hermanos y hermana y prima!" which is really too long for a greeting.

I also speak French in situations where French doesn't make sense, such as in the middle of sentences typed to people who don't speak any French. But why would you do something that stupid? they ask, and I reply, I did it parce que I felt like it. They call this Frenglish or Franglais.

The cousin just told me that I made a mistake in claiming that her posse calls me the abortion one because of Chica's story. The story about Chica was completely true, but it's not why they call me that. I don't feel like typing up the cousin's story, so you can go ask her if you really need to know.

This post is fairly short, but I'm not in the mood to write any more. I have homework to do and school tomorrow. Adios, infidels.

Forking heck in a handbasket.

Ignore the title. It was the first thing I could come up on such short notice (short notice being the two days I've spent on this post). I know I should have sat down and worked on it earlier, but I was sure you would all be too busy with your lives to notice that I skipped out on blogging for a day. Or two. They're beginning to blur together in my mind.

Today I am going to go more in-depth on the subject I know you're all dying to hear about: why Pseudocurses? I know it's very hard to type into the search bar every time you want to read my magnificent blog--don't worry, I have trouble spelling it, too. It's just one of those words. The e comes before the u, if that helps.

I don't believe that swearing should be against the law or whatever. I really have nothing against people cursing when they drop hammers on their feet or when they lose the competition they've been training for all summer. Those are legitimate reasons. I'm against people swearing every fourth word just because they can. All words have power, and profanity has more power than most. Using it over and over again makes it lose its meaning, and I don't think profanity should lose its meaning. It's called profane for a reason.

I try not to curse out loud and I do find it offensive. I curse when I write, because I feel like some of my characters would swear. To me, that's not the same; it's them, not me. I know they're figments of my imagination, but still.

So next time you feel the need to say ---- in front of me, please restrain yourself. I carry soap in my coat pocket.

I'm making a list today of names I really like. It's going to be amazing. I like a lot of names, but I'm really too lazy to think of them all right now. So this is more of a partial list. If you could open up my head and look inside, you'd see them all, but please don't. I'm not in the mood for a lobectomy.

Names I Really Like:

• Isabelle
• Tom
• Aethelfrith
• Jessica
• Suzannah
• Jezebelle
• Kaylan
• Soren
• Vyvyan
• Matthew
• Allison
• Katrine
• Valentine
• Bellatrix
• Liz
• Emily
• Juliette
• Yvette
• Noel

That's not counting things that are not names but are used as names, like Kashe or Butterfly. I like them, too.

Marker caps. Marker caps, also known as those little things you put on the end of markers, are very useful things indeed. Without them, markers would dry out and we wouldn't be able to use them. That would be sad, as markers are a staple supply for young children drawing stick figures. My main problem with marker caps is that you have to take them off before you can use markers. What's that supposed to be about? The things get lost so easily. You just put them down on the floor, and before you know it, they're halfway across the house under the sink. Evil but helpful. Isn't that how most things are?

I am too tired to write any more. This is because most of my blogging is done between the hours of 20:00 and 22:00. I should really blog earlier, but I'm lazy. Have I mentioned that I'm lazy? I'm lazy.

Goodbye, children of Earth.

"..And then everyone would have holes in their heads!"adegrees m

Can you see the pattern developing here? I use a quote from my fascinating day as the title of a post, then I explain it in one of the first few paragraphs. Maybe tomorrow I'll mix it up a little, just to annoy you.

I thought yesterday was the last day we'd have to deal with our morbid class, but no. Two days spent talking about the most gory things we could think of? No, no, that's hardly enough. We need to spend our entire class periods talking about violence. At least, that seems to be the mindset of a certain person in my group.

We were trying to think about the logistics of a computer chip implanted in our brains to let us play music and such (it's going to happen someday, I swear) and I said, "It'd be really expensive..."

"I think it would cost three dollars," said that certain person. Okay, fine, it was Jaewoong.

"Three dollars? Jaewoong, that would be really, really hard to do. It would not cost three dollars."

"I think it would."

"I think it wouldn't."

"Well, they could make a machine with lasers on it, and they could go around shooting people in the head! And then everyone would have holes in their heads!"

"And they'd all just stick the chip in through the hole?"

"Yeah!"

Also in English, our Polish student raised his hand to ask, "We have learned about the Holocaust, and races, and nuclear fallout...Cannot we learn about, like, happy things or something?" See, even the foreigner sees through her plot to depress the Halifax out of us. And then probably make us all her slaves, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

True friends leave footprints in your heart. Excuse me for being literal, but that sounds painful. Thanks, but no thanks. I don't really want footprints in my heart. It would be pretty bad if you had to have heart surgery in the future, too. The doctor would have to ask why there were little footprints on your heart. Okay, if I think about that any more I'll be sick.

I'm going to list about a hundred names from this website (can I add a link to this thing?) Name Nerds because it has a list called: It Came From The Baby Name Book. It makes me laugh, and we all know how hard that is. Okay, I lie, but it's still funny. Maybe if I don't get bored I'll list some stuff from: What To Name Your Baby Goth. Or you could just look it up yourselves.

• Conception
  
• Asian
• Dicklit
• Hermaphrodite
• Xanthippe
• Phantasia
• Ag
• Trinidette
• Kulukulutea
• Fitzclarence
• Abboid
• Lepeet Hessemdooks
• Tennis
• Zdzislaw
• Pervis
• Lymphoid
• Jock
  

Spiffy-kun, I know you love your page-missing baby name book, but please remember that baby name books have the stupid options as well as the other ones. If you're thinking about naming your child something dumb, just think about how horrible I plan to make life for my future child from the future. If you don't want your kid associating with Khaytelynne Aethelfrith Simone, tell me now.

Yarn. According to Dictionary dot com (yes, I'm going to put links everywhere now that I know how to make them), yarn is thread made of natural or synthetic fibers and used for knitting and weaving. Yes, both natural and synthetic fibers! Amazing. Lots of people in my family enjoy knitting, which is a hobby involving two pointy sticks and a lot of yarn. To knit, one makes little loops with their yarn and somehow forms all their yarn loops into an object. I've actually never knitted, so I have no idea what the finer points of knitting are. Before reading the definition for yarn, I hadn't realized that it was also used to weave. See how reading dictionaries and word-defining websites helps me? Yarn can also help me, I'm sure, even though I've only ever used it to tie up stuffed animals. Go out and buy some yarn to help the economy or something.

Today when the announcements turned on, I said, "It's temperature, not degrees!" The announcement person, being down in the SPC, ignored me. There was actually rampant ostracism at my place of learning today. Louis refused to listen to my imaginary friend's jazz riff, even though he spent an hour last night dilligently composing it. He plays a mean jazz oboe. Louis didn't care and then--horror of horrors--even sat on my imaginary friend. Such rudeness!