Guess what?

Look at this video of a kitten on YouTube again!

Yeah.

I'm sitting here late at night and the cousin is leaning on me. She's also tickling my side, or she was, but I think she's giving that up. Do you hear that, cousin? I think you're giving that up.

Sorry if this ends up sounding like me talking to the cousin, but it's not like this blog ever sounds like anything normal.

Today is Valentine's Day, you know. I like to call it "V-Day" because that's cuter. Kind of like "X-mas," although X-mas is a legitimate term that was used way before texting shorthand came into public use. I mean, people were saying X-mas before smell phones were invented.

I did practically nothing for V-Day, which is a shame because it's one of the cutest, most commercial holidays ever. All I did was get presents from my parents (rice crackers with seaweed, Japanese chocolate mushrooms, and white gum, because that's what every girl needs on V-Day) and hang out with the cousin.

The cousin is now lying on the floor trying to make the cat love her. It's a losing battle, cousin. (Good God, she's not even next to me and I'm talking to her. I must be slowly losing my mind. I love you, everyone! Remember that when I go insane and try to throw kittens at you when I see you because I'm too crazy to care who you are, okay?) The cat will never love you. The cat might be a space alien, or a robot, or an Animagus, or a ninja, but no matter what, she is heartless.

I mean, if she knew what V-Day was, she would probably refuse to celebrate it. She would be one of those people who goes, "Ew, sparkles and pink and love and happiness! I want to go sulk in my basement lair and eat frogs or something." She's just a little jerk kitty that way.

Another non-human who I've nonetheless decided hates V-Day is the exclamation point. It's not a ninja exclamation point, because it's not subtle enough to be a ninja, but I'm still not sure what it is. It might just be a random exclamation point. Or a fabulous exclamation point. Yeah.

Anyway, the fabulous exclamation point is Not Happy. With the capitals. The exclamation point is the kind of not happy that can't be expressed by lowercase letters, all right? See, it's in love with the ninja ampersand. It wants to marry the ninja ampersand and, like, have its children or something. Although I don't think that would work out because they're both "its," being punctuation.

But I'm getting off track. The fabulous exclamation point is deeply in love with the ninja ampersand. You'd think that wouldn't be a problem, because the exclamation point is very forward with its feelings, but no. The exclamation point said, "AMPERSAND I LOVE YOU LOL," and waited for an answer.

The ninja ampersand actually kind of ignored it, if you can believe that. The ninja ampersand was on a Top Secret Ninja Mission and didn't have time for exclamation points who caps lock too much.

So the exclamation point sulked for a while, and then it said, "OMG AMPERSAND PLZ TALK TO ME!!!" because it wanted the ampersand to talk to it. Their conversation went a little bit like this:

&: ...

!: WHY AREN'T YOU TALKING TO ME??

&: can't talk. important ninja mission.

!: NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME MY LOVE

&: ...

!: SO AMPERSAND. I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION. ALMOST AS IMPORTANT AS ME, SO THAT'S PRETTY IMPORTANT

&: later. i'm busy.

!: I DON'T CARE. AMPERSAND. DO YOU LOVE ME??

&: i said i'm busy.

!: ANSWER MY QUESTION HONEY

&: ...

!: OMG YOU DON'T LOVE ME DO YOU??

&: it's not that.

!: YOU HATE ME OMGOMGOMG YOU RUINED MY V-DAY OMG I'M NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME YOU HEARTBREAKER

&: exclamation point, i said it's not that. i just have an important ninja job and i really shouldn't be talking to you right now

!: YOU HATE ME OMGOMG JERKBAIT I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU

&: well, if you're going to be like that

!: LIKE WHAT? I'M GOING TO BE LIKE WHAT?

&: i thought you weren't talking to me.

!: I THOUGHT YOU HAD AN IMPORTANT JOB.

&: well...look, i'm sorry. can we talk later?

!: NO BECAUSE I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU. EVER AGAIN. SO THAT MEANS NEVER

&: but you're talking to me

!: I AM NOT. GO AWAY. STUPID NINJA AMPERSAND

&: fine, i will

!: ...

!: COME BACK I LOVE YOU

!: -CRIES- -IN CAPS LOCK-

That was my V-Day story for you. It was kind of sad, I guess, but maybe the ninja ampersand and the fabulous exclamation point will get a happy ending later when I'm not tired out of my mind and with the cousin. Right now the two of them are kind of like this:

&||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||!

Maybe tomorrow they'll be like this:

& !

But I doubt it.

Sad V-Day, but hey! It's twelve-twelve, so technically it's not even V-Day anymore!

Blogging again.

So I've decided to try this thing where I write a thousand words a day. Kind of like NaNo, I guess, but not necessarily about the same thing. Anyway, NaNo was more like one thousand, six hundred sixty-seven words a day until you started getting behind, and then you ended up with three thousand words a day for a week...

Good times.

The cat is sitting on my bed. She's not touching me; that would be too much for her little kitty brain to handle. She's just sitting a safe distance away and twitching like the twitchy meeper she is. I swear, she is the weirdest cat ever, and all cats are weird.

I've started to say "meep" all the time. It's just terrible, I tell you. I go through phases of saying random words whenever I can. Meep. Squish. Sometimes I wish I could just talk like a normal person and not have to meep at people.

I was getting off the bus a few days ago, and I caught my bag between my leg and one of the seats. I made a "meep!" noise, because of course that makes sense. John (our bus driver looks remarkably like a young John McCain, so I call him John) said, "You're welcome."

Me: Meep!

John: You're welcome!

Erin: LOLWUT.

No, really. I think she said that.

Oh my gosh, that just reminded me of how while I was standing around in the snow feeling like a pimp today, this guy walked by and told his friend about how something "made him lol." I was like, "Go away, dude."

Oh, now the cat is actually sitting TOUCHING ME and PURRING. I can't believe it. I will treasure this for the rest of my life. This kind of thing happens once in a lifetime, or maybe just once a month, but not very often nonetheless. I'm so proud of her. This is like a step to becoming normal.

!

Do you know what song I keep listening to? Of course you don't, unless you're some kind of mind-reader. Please don't tell me you're a mind-reader. I would be seriously freaked out if someone turned out to be reading my mind. Sometimes in class I do that thing I saw on MLIA, where you think very loudly, "If you can hear me, cough," and then I feel really, really relieved when no one coughs.

Anyway, song.

It's "Paparazzi." By, you know, that Lady Gaga woman. (I wanted to say "that Lady Gaga lady," but that would be a major visit to the Department of Redundancy Department. Wow, I keep getting sidetracked today. My mind is, like, not staying focused.&)

ANYWAY. Seriously this time. You can tell I'm serious because I used CAPS LOCK.

I keep singing it in my head and stuff, except I replace the word "paparazzi" with "stalkerazzi." Seriously, if you've heard the song, it makes perfect sense. I'm your biggest fan/ I'll follow you until you love me...

Why am I listening to this? Someone hit me, or something.

Have you noticed that I keep sending you to links? It's to distract you from the way I'm too lazy to write anything of substance. Look! A turtle eating a strawberry! The cover of "Going Bovine!" Purple water!

...Yeah. I should just stop right now.

In case you haven't noticed, the ninja ampersand is hiding somewhere on this page. The exclamation point is also somewhere, but it's a little more conspicuous. Okay, a lot more conspicuous.

By the way, this was 596 words. 404 to go...and homework, of course.

The words "Kimchi Kat" do not show up in that order on Google.

I'm going back to calling Cassee Kimchi Kat, even though it's misspelled. It's not on Google! How fabulous is that?

My titles have absolutely nothing to do with my posts. I like it that way.

I'm not sure if this is just me being a spelling/punctuation/grammar person, but I find it really strange to have Facebook chats with certain people. I type out full sentences and try to put my entire thought in one post. Other people...don't.

Example:

Me: Hi, Anonymous!

Anonymous: hi libby

how r u?

Me: I'm fine. You?

Anonymous: i'm fine to

do u like cheese?

Me: Um...

Anonymous: ?

Me: Why are you asking?

Anonymous: i dunno

i just wanted 2

well

?

do u?

Me: I guess. I mean, cheese is pretty cool. I don't eat it all the time or anything, but I like it.

Anonymous: lol

yeah

i don't

like it

i think its kinda gross

but

ok

It's really strange for me to look at a chat I've been having and see that I speak in sentences, but the people I talk to speak in little. Short bursts of. Speech. It takes a minute for them to write up their little three-word phrases (subordinate clauses!) and send their little tiny bits of thoughts to me. I'm not annoyed with the people who type like that, just the way they type.

its annoying. 2 try 2 read. ok? cuz ur little. mini-thoughts r not interesting. their kinda stupid. k?

So please stop it and write like you've cracked open a dictionary at least once in your life, please? I'm getting a little angry here, actually. I could rant for a while on this subject; I did once in English class. But I'm going to stop now. I might devote an entire post to this some time, but not now.

I've changed the nifty little profile picture up in the right-hand corner several times now. First it was a creepy staring face because I was too lazy to put up a better picture. Then it was the picture of a dress made from old iPod skins. I love that thing. It's absolutely amazing. But I got bored of it after a while and changed it to an interrobang, a combination exclamation point and question mark. Now it's an irony mark. Yes, it's not just a backwards question mark, it's an irony mark. There's a huge difference. I'll probably have a picture of a dead rat up by March.

It's interesting how a lot of people seem to blog the way they talk. Like, some people write really, really long paragraphs and then pull themselves back on subject. Some people just write down thoughts and skip to the next one. Do I blog the way I talk? I can't tell. I don't just talk to hear the sound of my own voice, whatever you think. I talk because I can.

I don't think that's a better reason, but I don't care.

I keep thinking about colors all the time and I don't know why.  It's very strange. I keep doing things like searching the word blue on Google or typing in yellow on Wikipedia. I even have the word blue written on the back of my hand. In purple marker, natch. I love that word, almost as much as I love colors. This is prompting me to make a list. Unfortunately, I can only think of a few things to put on it right now, so it will be an ever-growing list. I will add to it as I think of other things to put on it. Don't worry, though; that could take millenia.

Things I Like More than I Should for No Apparent Reason:

• Colors
• Butterflies
• The word natch
• British spellings of words
• British punctuation
• Punctuation
• Green cargo pants
• Characters who wear green cargo pants
• People who wear green cargo pants

I barely ever made lists until I started blogging and the little Bulleted List key showed up. See, blogging is a bad influence on me. I should leave my blog to collect virtual dust here on the Internet and go rant about people who curse too much elsewhere. Of course, my reader(s) would probably all die from lack of their daily me.

I'll stay. For now.